Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Bad Driving


I admit it.
I H-A-T-E bad drivers.
The lot of them.

I live in the Boston area so we do have our share, BUT in defense, I will say, it's not as bad as the rep you may have heard about over the years.

Here's my take about what you run into around here:

Driving like an a-hole = Massachusetts driver (hence the term "Masshole")
Driving like an idiot = New Hampshire driver (hence the term "Idiot")

Now, before undies get bunched and feelings get hurt, this does not apply to every single Masshole and every single NH redneck. (Just kidding! Not everyone from NH is inbred, right? Right?)

I'll probably go off on this subject every now and then because there are so many idiots out there who do so many idiotic things every day that seriously can be avoided.

Today's subject: Traffic Jams.

Everyone hates them, everyone's inconvenienced by them. But it's usually everyone's fault that makes them happen.

Think about this for a minute or two:

If, and that's a big if, you and everyone else around you are driving properly on the highway, unless you are getting off an exit, you should never, ever have to hit your brakes on the highway. Forget about moose or other things that suddenly run out into traffic, I mean in normal conditions.
You should never have to brake on the highway.

Does that make sense?

So why in the world do people do stupid things like suddenly decide to jump over to the left lane without signalling in front of a car coming down the left lane going faster than them and continue on at the same damn speed they were doing in the middle lane with no reason to change lanes??????

That will make you brake.

Ever wonder what causes a traffic tie up other than the "Ooh look it's a car in the breakdown lane, I better go 5 MPH!"

My theory?

Stupid people are easily distracted.

Think about it, most people do everything BUT pay attention to the most important thing they are doing when they are driving. DRIVING!!
Because most people have the attention span of a dead goldfish, if something, anything remotely  happens on the road , instant traffic jam.
Because most people aren't paying attention, when something requires their attention to actually focus on driving it causes their little brains to lock up. Hence "Ooh look it's a car in the breakdown lane, I better go 5 MPH!"

Here in Massachusetts, we have a phenomenon called Rain. Perhaps you've heard of it. Well, when Rain happens, it seems to mesmerize just about all the people driving. For some reason Rain causes BIG traffic jams. OK, I'm not talking about gale force blinding in your face turn the windshield wipers on the highest speed available type of Rain. Just good ole every day Rain.Therefore, if it Rains, instant traffic jam.

And if you live in an area where it snows, forget it.

Why are you in the left lane?

Special people are these.
I mean the ones who get in the left lane and cruise along.
Repeat after me: The Left Lane Is For Passing.

Here are some basic rules of thumb to follow about left lane travel:

  • If someone passes you while you're in the left lane, you should not be in the left lane.
  • If there is a huge gap between you and the car in front of you, you should not be in the left lane.
  • If you're not keeping up with the flow of traffic, you should not be in the left lane.
  • If you look in the rear view mirror and there are a load of cars behind you and none in front of you, you should not be in the left lane.
  • If you are in the left lane just because you like to have all the traffic on your right, you should not be in the left lane.
  • If you have someone tailgating you, you should not be in the left lane.

Now that last one strikes nerves I know.
But think about it, if someone is tailgating you in the left lane, you don't belong there.
You don't have any right to "slow someone down". Screw that, let 'em go. They're gonna pass you anyway and if you piss them off enough, they might do something really, really dangerous and stupid to get around your stubborn ass. Let it go. You're not the highway speed regulator.
If you are in the left lane and someone is giving you an automotive colonoscopy, and you can get over, for the love of mankind, GET OVER.
And please, for all of us others out there, do not speed up to stop someone from passing you on the right.
That proves you are the ultimate a-hole driver.
Yep, you pull that one, it places you in sole possession of biggest a-hole on the road, not the one who is tailgating you. You are.

And yes, these left lane obstructionists are another cause of traffic jams.

There will be more...

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